I am a grade 12 student applying for scholarship for engineering program. I need help with editing or rewriting my answer to the below question

Question: The world needs engineers with heart. Ones who consider the all-important question: am I making the world a better place? Tell us about a time in your life that you had a positive impact on your family, school, or community. No impact is too big or too small. Describe the impact you had on those around you, and include why you decided to take action. Don’t forget to explain why this was meaningful to you!

My Answer: Music is my passion and God has blessed me with and an exceptional talent to play piano. The goal of my life is to make useful contributions to the community and the world at large. All through my past years, I have contributed to the community in various volunteering roles. I would like to share my experience in particular with a charity fund raising even that touched my life.

Back in Aug 2018 Indias southern state of Kerala suffered its worst monsoon flooding in a century, with more than one million people displaced, and more than 400 reported deaths. Weeks of heavy rainfall caused dams to open their floodgates, triggered landslides in the mountains, and swamped the coastal regions of Kerala. The state was experiencing an extremely grave crisis, with the highest flood.

I was overwhelmed watching the severe devastating effects of the flood. I was very upset watching flood victims lose everything they have: their homes, their jobs, even their loved ones. I realized that whether it is donating a dollar or volunteering, I wanted to lend a helping hand to those in need. My church decided to collect funds from the community as donations to the Distress Relief funds for the flood victims. I was very happy to hear of this decision and then took Initiative to help organize a Christian contemporary concert in September 2018 named Acts 4:12. Acts 4:12 was arranged with the intentions of raising funds for the flood victims in Kerala, India.  I was the band director and was responsible for the arrangement and production of the performances for 20+ songs in different languages. I encountered many challenges to effectively organize, direct and lead large groups of people. I also participated in marketing the event and visited several churches with groups to reach out to the community at large within a short time span. The concert promotional videos along with our personal appeal to the community received positive response. The challenges and round the clock effort was all very rewarding. On Sept 22, 2018, the concert fully sold out the Hammerson Hall at the Living Arts Centre in Mississauga and was a huge success with an audience of 1200 people. I received great support from my peers, and community without which the event would not have been a success.

The fund raised through the concert brought relief to the needy and more significantly a humbling experience to my life. I learnt the importance of a diverse team. I also witnessed that everyone has a skill that makes him or her special. I reflected on the moment of the crisis and I felt very blessed to be safe with my dear ones when others like me have lost everything. I realized how small steps and joining hands could make a huge impact no matter how severe the problem is. Deep down I heard an inner voice reminding me that our time and talents are a valuable resource that can help those in need, and should not be wasted or underutilized. Each one of us have a responsibility for caring, encouraging each other in providing hope and tangible aid to the needy during their difficult times. I am now more motivated and sensitive to volunteer for causes that help bring relief and comfort to those in need.