Editing notes: It looks like youre on the right track with this draft. As I read, I made some comments, and I was very impressed with the way you analyzed the the effects of music in various kinds of game. For the final draft, you’ll need more engagement with readert. Try to consider possible questions your readers might raise and respond to them. You might consider using an exhibit source like a detailed description of the music in a very addictive game to illustrate your ideas. It would also be helpful to add a counterargument and respond to it.
This academic research paper is very informative and thoughtful. With a little attention to increasing its specificity (with more quotes, examples, and details), I think it could be publishable.